Do You Love Crunching Numbers? Is your life not complete if you didn’t do work in 3 spreadsheets today? If so, quit reading now. Don’t waste your time or mine.
Are you fast, but accurate? Can you concentrate in a relatively noisy office environment? Do you stress out when the phones have been non-stop ALL day long? And, while it isn’t your primary function, you are the back-up Customer Service Rep and you have to answer the phone if it rings more than 3 times? (Which means you have to keep track of the rings) And some of those calls were from less than patient clients. Can you stay on track, or do you totally lose your momentum? Can you survive happily on 45,000 to 50,000 per year? In short, are you my new accounting assistant?
Now before you get all worked up and send me an email explaining how you are the perfect person for this job…. When you’re balancing your checkbook, do you ever just “adjust” it to make up the 2 or 3 cents that you’re off? Do you have a problem working every other Saturday? If yes to either of those, then quit reading; you and I have nothing to talk about.
I see you’re still reading.
Do you gossip and point blame at others when something goes wrong? Are you manipulative? Are you a drama king/queen? Do you want to work by yourself in a quiet office? If yes to any of those, then quit reading. This job consists of working in an office with 5 or 6 people working closely together, with a high level of activity and noise, helping and supporting each other and watching each other’s back. Will you pass our drug test and background check? If not, no need to continue.
Okay. If you’re fortunate enough to land this job, the responsibility for keeping my performance tracking spreadsheets rests squarely on your shoulders. Can you handle that? It means doing mistake-free work. If the numbers are wrong, I can’t manage my business correctly. You may be tempted to have a bad day because your spouse/partner/Kid yelled at you on your way out the door that morning. But, if you do, here’s what will happen: You won’t be your normal happy self… my numbers will be wrong, and on the phone calls that you had to answer, you won’t successfully engage with my clients who are expecting awesome service.
Or, you’ll tick off one of my technicians because you’re short with them, because you’re trying to concentrate on your spreadsheet, and then they won’t do their best job with my client, and they won’t schedule my salesperson to do an estimate for a new heating and air system. And my installers will sit at home with nothing to do.
So… If you’re a moody person, sometimes up, sometimes down… please stop reading. You will just frustrate both of us. If you’re the grumpy type accountant, this isn’t your place to work. I need a person who is happy to be alive no matter what.
Hmmm… still reading.
Do you have an amazing ability to multi-task without making errors? You’ll need it because you’ll be doing detailed procedures and reports, and at the same time you’re doing those, you’ll be dispatcher because the regular one is sick today, and you’ll need to be like an air traffic controller, making decisions on which tech to send to which town, to which client, based on various technician skill levels, locations, availability & client urgency.
Are You Dependable & Punctual? If not, forget it. Just find something else. This will never work for you. My top 3 things that I rate people on is Attendance, attendance and attendance. I run a great company, with great people. Think you qualify? Convince me that you’re the person I need.
Write a one-paragraph story on why this job should be yours, and deliver it in person to our office at 1302 Old Elizabethtown Rd, Hodgenville, KY, 42748. While you’re here, we’ll ask you to complete our employment application form. Pansies and whiners need not apply.